Excaliburs Missus
11-20-2007, 12:03 PM
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years.
Finally sick of the stress he quits
his job and buys 50 acres of land
in Alaska as far from humanity as
possible.
He sees the postman once a week
and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total
isolation, someone knocks on his door.
He opens it and a huge, bearded
man is standing there.
''Name's Lars, your neighbor from
forty miles up the road.
Having a Christmas party Friday night.
Thought you might like to come.
About 5:00."
Great", says Tom, "After six months out
here I'm ready to meet some local folks.
Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops.
"Gotta warn you, be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem," says Tom.
"After 25 years in the business,
I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave
and stops.
"More'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right.
I'll be there.
Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too,"
"Now that's really not a problem," says
Tom, warming to the idea.
"I've been all alone for six months!
I'll definitely be there."
"By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter.
Just gonna be the two of us."
_________________
Finally sick of the stress he quits
his job and buys 50 acres of land
in Alaska as far from humanity as
possible.
He sees the postman once a week
and gets groceries once a month.
Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total
isolation, someone knocks on his door.
He opens it and a huge, bearded
man is standing there.
''Name's Lars, your neighbor from
forty miles up the road.
Having a Christmas party Friday night.
Thought you might like to come.
About 5:00."
Great", says Tom, "After six months out
here I'm ready to meet some local folks.
Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops.
"Gotta warn you, be some drinkin'."
"Not a problem," says Tom.
"After 25 years in the business,
I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave
and stops.
"More'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right.
I'll be there.
Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too,"
"Now that's really not a problem," says
Tom, warming to the idea.
"I've been all alone for six months!
I'll definitely be there."
"By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter.
Just gonna be the two of us."
_________________